Out of the finest horn cups of old legends thieves will drink out of, phoenixes still the color of golden sunlight thousands of years later.


As drinks were passed round, the looters wondered not why falcons and hawks turned into phoenixes, increasingly greater in power- yet more distant from reality, only that their golden cups needed to be filled! And why not from this little golden bird, for any beast will do.

Beer, let them drink beer out of the jue 爵, one of the only double spouted ones known in existence, with a lid that most are missing. Let it bother them not they know not what the prongs or antennae are to the sides, but only that they have money in their pocket to spend on beer! Lots of beer! 


The sheep at this point in the party, started looking a whole lot like a ox which was mistaken time and again for a goat.


Wine, more wine shall flow from the emperor’s zuns than ever before, the bird shall dance with dragons! The sheep shall be sacrificed upon this night!


Even more wine says the primordial owl, servant of night and the dead. Its large eyes watch as thirstily the thieves drink their fill.



Mythological creatures lit the dark tomb that no scientist had even pondered- were the servants of the birds of fire horned pigs? A very, very fat goat? Oxen who had become hobbits?

Cooked meat- the spoils of cannibalism- in the finest barbecues and stew pots simmer, as the gluttons thirst is drowned.



Into the pot- deer, oxen, the cat! Round and round we stir!


The little royal dog of the court, bathed in the best of scents from around the world to disguise the bullshit it had rolled in, sacrificed too. It would bite the thieves if only it could move its mouth, but the way of dogs snatched in Yunnan today it has gone.


Climbing towers shall be the archaic beasts at such tales of ruin and greed and selfishness, a hint of early mausoleums set up high to discourage animals as well as lessen the stench of death? For the world shall never know as pagodas were unknown in the Shang Dynasty…

Let the air be made sweet by incense burners the size of children! Upon magical sheep and servants they shall perfume only the air of robbers, not kings.

Let the bells ring out for these thieves of the greatest plunder the world has ever seen, far surpassing even the wealth of Tutankhamen or Russian Czars! For master robbers are they, and to do it in broad daylight, just taking advantage of people’s ignorance was a master stroke of brilliance.


As you might notice, these are the exact same Ebay sellers who are also selling The Emperor’s Good Silver I and The Emperor’s Good Silver II. I also suspect that all of these sellers may be the exact same person or family, time and time again who just put a different watermark on the same photos. Quite a coincidence and quite a hoard of loot in just the hands of only one Chinese shop. Then there is also a set of silver with black background bronzes, as well as a set that is gilded in gold instead of silver held by the very same people. Its just too much loot to even chalk up to grave robbing or robbing grave robbers, but a systematic clearance of entire assemblages of artifacts that would have been found together in a tomb. Even the best grave robber in the world couldn’t pull this heist off. Too big. Too much. But it certainly is one way to devalue and disenfranchise the former aristocracy of your country and everything they ever valued and thought of as “precious”.




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